Thursday, May 05, 2005
great expectations
When me and my friend drink coffee every morning, a constant topic is on our boyfriends - on what they are like, what they did, what they shouldn't have done, what they should've done. Then we inevitably talk about what defines a man. I think it's a function of all these dashing debonaire movies. Plus all the fairy tales with the prince charmings. And then you'd have your dad and your brothers... and all the other real life scenarios you encounter with these things we call men. And being the picky women that we are, we round 'em all up into a ball of great expectations (of course in relation to us women). There are thousands of lists of "what a man should be" or "what a man should know" yada, yada, yada. I think I'll publish one of mine too. This will be fun.

The man must know how to save you. Basic example is that he should know how to swim (I mean serious swimming, not just floating face down). If you're in danger in the water, he shouldn't be choosing between a lifevest and you. This also covers not being a wimp. He should know how to defend you. He shouldn't look like a single punch can make you boyfriend-less.

The man should know how to fix things. If things are broken, he should know how to fix it. He should know how to tinker. If he doesn't already know how to fix it, he will attempt to tinker with it first before giving up and taking it to a professional. Men will not immediately admit to not knowing how to fix things - it is a sin to their ego.

The man should know how to drive. This is not just about knowing how to change gears and make the car roll. This is about knowing how to survive traffic and speed when needed. He should be able to choose a lane (i.e. will not connect the dots on the road). He should know how to switch lanes, if he then chooses another one. He should not be overtaken and out-maneuvered by something as measly as an owner-type jeep or a Daihatsu. He will also have to know how to get you to a place fast, if needed, like a sale.

The man should know about style. Certain shirts go with certain pants. He should know that. And that brown belts don't go with black shoes. He should know the difference between board shorts and long, garterized "pambahay" shorts disguised as board shorts. He should know how a polo should fit - it should not look like it was the polo of your father or a bigger man. And when he tucks it into slacks, it shouldn't be fluffed out like it was the 90's. If the polo was orange, he'd be an automatic pumpkin. Hopefully, the pumpkin would know how to tie a tie.

The man should look and act like a man. You should not look like the man in the relationship. If a hunk is not possible, soneone who at least looks like he is on the road to hunkdome. Some cuts and lines here and there (need not be defined). As long he has markings of a man who can protect you, fine (refer to number 1). He should not look like a surfboard with nipples and spaghetti for limbs. Not to say that lanky and thin is not a man, look at Raph Feinnes and David Bowie (Keanu, if he's gym-ing). Net, manly is possible. Boy not acceptable. BUT - hunk that doesn't act like a proper man is not a true man. The man should know how to treat a woman with respect and love (i need not explain).

Now. The man I have is not perfectly all of the above. But I think he's on the road to such manliness (I just hope no one hogs the steering wheel). Because yes, the last thing that your man should be is... trainable. But you, the woman, should be such a trainer that the trainee will not be able to tell that he is in fact being trained.
dezphaire strapped in @ 7:09 PM  


  • At 1:24 PM, Anonymous saiful wong said…

    You must understand the force from stars is already pre-destined in your future life. you must be sad for your loved ones (friends and families) at side of you that you may will not be your current place and probably will be another place so far away. You will miss them very much as you will be greatly with things you don't know. You will expect more many from the future nobody will stop. Your fate is already sealed on night sky. Once you were always sad, now you have expressed much to the hearing nature of the night sky. Moreover, you will close your website and you will end the life of Queen of Eyqpt and will join the Roman Empire where there will be exactly as great expectations as what you will be dreaming true. Best Wishes

  • At 3:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    sana hindi sya nakakaintindi. hindi maganda ang araw na ito eh. nakakita pa ako ng komentaryang napakahaba na walang ka-konek-koneksyon sa nakasulat. tantanan na ang mga bituin. pochanangina.

  • At 4:22 PM, Anonymous jayvee f. said…

    you should turn that post into an online quiz to see how manly we are :) hehe

    some things to add: men have this thing with size. err, not even taken in the sexual concept. but we want "manly" things like large toolboxes, large bags, large cellphones ..

    sabi nga ni tim allen in home improvement .. "you can tell how manly someone is by the size of his toolbox."

  • At 10:54 AM, Blogger drivebyshooter said…

    i couldn't stop laughing while reading this. like jayvee said, turn this into a quiz.

    the thing is... a real man wouldn't take the quiz for the simple reason that he doesn't need a quiz to prove his manliness.

  • At 2:18 PM, Blogger dezphaire said…

    jayvee & elber: interestingly, the males seem to be the most receptive to this post. i just noticed. hehe.

    okay quiz tayo: How would you describe your physique?
    a. i'm a hunk or on the road to hunkdome
    b. i've got cuts here and there
    c. i'm a surfboard with nipples and spaghetti for limbs


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