Tuesday, April 26, 2005
the talk
Talk. Talking. It's one of the most natural activities. Exchange of ideas, basic gossip, spreading of useless information, yada yada. It's the easiest and most cost effective way to entertain yourself. I come to notice though, that life has categorized "talk" and "talking" into two different things. By strict definition, they essentially mean the same thing, one being the root word of the other. But by experience, the two words differ in approach and in the response they elicit. Let me explain.

Talking has this air of voluntariness. It's easy and free. It gives you the impression that any topic would do, from knowledge about bi-polar chemical reactions to the mundane and trivial information no one needs to know but you talk about it anyway. It's the lighter side of the conversation spectrum.

On the other hand, there's "talk". Plain and simple, straightforward. Let's add more drama to it. Let's call it "the talk". You can do the I'm-quoting hand action from Austin Powers if you want. Well, that's what it is basically - it's drama in the making. It has this dense, anticipatory cloud of fear around it. Oooh, it's "the talk". If you're parents, you'd dread having to do "the talk" with your children (especially if they're male). If you're boss eyes you and says "let's talk", you'd wish that the flourescent lights could teleport you elsewhere. "We need to talk" conversation beginners just makes the air clump into a box of seriousness. It's almost like an order. You're trapped. You've got no choice. You've got yourself a one-on-one retreat. It's a palanca letter coming alive. Okay, it builds character. It makes you listen to others (which is a good thing often forgotten). It makes you realize that you're wrong and you hurt someone and that something needs to be done about it. But don't you just hate the feeling of being in "the talk". The "talk" itself, with its simple objective to resolve, is fine. It's the feeling. I particularly am not very comfortable with it. I'm the type who just chooses to plunge and move on. Note the negative (and try to not do it again) and think of other positives. Do we need to recount and reinforce wrongness? It just gives you so much weight. I admit that at times this could be a very close-minded way of taking things, and I'm not saying that I don't like "the talk-ing" because I know it's helpful - it's just a plain cringe moment. It's really the feeling. The i-can't-be-defensive feeling. The i'm in a "talk" feeling.

But, some people welcome "the talk". It's a source of comfort and closure. There's a discussion, the conclusion, the next steps (plus the sorries). Re-examine the negatives, then look forward to the positives. Maybe I'm not just one of those people. I try to be, but it's very hard. Plunge and move on, as Giles said. Like slaying. You can't move on with one hand grasping a stake still driven into a corpse.
dezphaire strapped in @ 12:21 PM  


  • At 5:43 PM, Anonymous saiful wong the deaf said…

    Who says you are not comfortable with the talk? Your friends, parents, siblings, bosses and people are talking to you. How could you avoid this truth? I'm deaf. Do u prefer to be silent as if you could pretend you were as deaf as me? I sit a lunch table with colleagues and they are talking to each other while I'm silent and don't hear anything.

  • At 8:27 PM, Anonymous mark o said…

    it's not about the preference to be silent and pretending everything is okay....it's bout the awkward situation of 'the talk'.


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