Too stressed, too migraine-induced to even lash out what I feel. I tried writing something. A verse? Can't. I absolutely hate it when nothing comes out. But I need to communicate something. I need to relate something. So let me revive a poem I wrote years ago, because it perfectly tells of what is being felt. And because poetry transcends time.

PURE
So this is pure
this is how it feels.
The frantic beating of
veins,
tired, but reeking havoc.
Especially through the
head.
Everything is taken over
taken completely.
Eyes roll, voices
raised.
How this yearns to scream;
longs to show the reality
of what
this spirit feels.
Pure.
So this is how pure it feels.
Anger.

I grew up drinking milk. Way beyond the bottle-feeding, okay. When I had the brains to do so, I would abolutely refuse to drink it. Though it did taste good. But just the fact that the habit was being pounded onto us by our parents made such a yummy thing seem revolting. So it went from drinking a glass 3 times a day to 2 times a day... to just drinking in the evening before sleeping.

I don't know if other people share my taste for milk. Chips, for one, prefers chocolate mixes because milk makes him regurgitate. I think now I'd actually want to get back into the habit. I've got my solid (big) teeth and hard nails as testimonials to the benefits of that white, murky liquid. I think a lot of the people I know can attest to how strong my nails are... *evil laugh*.

Okay, I just noticed how wayward this post is... does milk help braincells? Hehe. But main point is - drink milk! Or eat something with a lot of milk. If you don't, then start doing it. Because did you know that even a strong sneeze can break your bones if they are weak? And since I love trivia, here are some others I dug up:

• Milk could help control body fat and risk of obesity. Researchers have recently discovered that young children who consume lots of milk and dairy products tend to be leaner than those with lower intakes.
• To get the same amount of Calcium as from a glass of milk from vegetables, a young person would need to munch their way through more than twelve portions of spinach or more than eight portions of red kidney beans or more than four servings of broccoli (yuck).
• There are approximately 340-350 squirts in a gallon of milk.
• Milk is better for cooling your mouth after eating spicy food. Milk products contain casein, a protein that cleanses burning taste buds.
• It takes 12 pounds of whole milk to make one gallon of ice cream!

Did I mention that I also love the Got Milk campaign? They have one with Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan Mcgregor) and Conan O'Brien. Click here for a higher dosage of milk.

Clear.
As what.
Glass?
Clear it seems.
Seems not.
Because,
as it shows you through
it shows
also
the opposite
of you.
Now,
what does that
mean.

Maabilidad talaga ang pinoy. Pinoys are really resourceful. They strive to be better. They are streetsmart. How can you really translate this? Pinoys will always find a way. You can take this positively or negatively. Although there are a lot of things to be proud of (i.e. accomplishments, inventions, and what nots), I will take the latter. Maybe it's the PMS. Anyway, onto the point of this post:

I often encounter these maabilidad-moments when I'm driving. Because pinoys will always find a way... to take shortcuts. Whether they are driving, walking, bicycling or even limping. Like instead of occupying the one lane assigned for turning right (or left), motorists give birth to another lane or two. Or how about a two-lane fly-over is up ahead, and there are four lanes trying to squish themselves in (the two other lanes brought about by scumbags who get away with being such).

I've grown to accept (somewhat) this scum-bagging. What can I do? I don't drive Bigfoot. I wish I did, so I can TRAMPLE ALL OVER THEM! Because they are stupid! And you know what's even more stupid than stupid drivers? STUPID PEDESTRIANS! They will find a way to take shortcuts too. And in the process they will probably take a shortcut to hell. Now this is really the meat of this post. I've always ranted about cars and buses. But I shan't forget those without protective tin cans around them. Maabilidad nga sila.

Because no matter what the authorities do (if they ever do anything), these people and their death wishes will still prevail. They strive to better any attempt to temper this so-called resourcefulness. In major roads like Espana, there are metal bars in the middle of the road to stop people from jaywalking. What happens? People cut out a bar or two so that they can squeeze themselves in between, quite unglamorously, to get to the other side. All this trouble and an overpass is right above them. STUPID! You know that new fly-over installed on Meralco Avenue? The one that goes over Julia Vargas? It has a concrete divider running from one end to the other. An objective was to force the jeepneys to do their loading and unloading under the flyover and not bother motorists with unnecessary stopping. But of course, they wouldn't want to go through the trouble of crossing the traffic light below when they can just fly above. Hence, loading and unloading takes place on the flyover. What did they do with the concrete barrier? They jump it. Like sheep. While cars are honking and desperately trying to slow down. This morning, I notice there is actually a makeshift wooden ladder leaning on divider. They can now step over, with more poise. Resourceful, yes, but still STUPID!

Yup, what a post following the grand-Filipino-achievement feel of Corregidor right?

I don't know what gives. Reality, perhaps? Coz it really does bite.

A recap late in the game, but read it anyway. Last friday, Jan 14, marked our fourth year anniversary (yes, four years!!!). Our celebration actually spanned for two days. On the official day, we planned to have dinner. We both wanted steak. The initial intent was to go to Melo's but then parking in Greenbelt made it impossible. So we settled for Tony Roma's. The people there probably thought we were insane... ordering a combo platter (with ribs and steak) each and an additional grilled chicken ceasar salad. Note that the platter already had two baked potatoes topped with cream cheese, grated cheese, and bacon. Hmmm, getting hungry. Anyway, as if that wasn't enough, we then walked over to Haagen Dazs where Chips got an apple pie topped with strawberry ice cream and I got a scoop of their macadamia nut. Oh yeah, dare I forget to say that the waiter at Tony Roma's was flirting with my boyfriend. He even gave Chips like this privelege card of some sort. Hahaha.

With all the food digesting in our bellies, it was even a miracle that we got up the next day for our trip to Corregidor. Boarding was at 7:30am. And I am sooo not built to wake up at 6am on a Saturday. Argh. We get to the dock and it was a pleasant surprise to see so many people on the tour (foreigners and pinoys). And cute foreigners at that. Okay... focus, Fozzy, focus... you are with your boyfriend. I looked back to my trip to Bangkok and realized that with all the tours, we never got any cute guys riding with us - only to get a good dose of them right here in Pinas. How ironic. Anyway, after 45mins or so of sailing, we dock and choose our tramvias. I think we got lucky with tramvia number 4. We got an old, cheery and sarcastic tourguide. He's like this walking history book - well versed, very candid and very, very smart. He's been there since the tour started, and you really get a feel of how much he loves his job. He also happens to be Ilokano. I think his name was Pablito (or something like that).



And so we revelled in how rich the island was with history. I marvelled at how brave the people there were. So much so that I felt that it was insane. Pablito actually told us that some sections of the Malinta Tunnel hasn't been cleaned out yet... gasp! so that means that there are still bodies and stuff? Eek. Creepy. Anyhoo, below are some thumbs of our photos. Yup, despite knowing how many people died there, we had the guts to go crazy with the poses. As you can see, Chips went gun-happy.







I think it's a male thing. And it's a girl thing to be mushy... I really, really don't want to imagine anything else than what I have now. He's quite a good catch, if I may say so myself. Good thing I reeled him in before anyone else could. Haha. I'm a scorpio... I can't help but be proud.

I can't believe I'm using such a butterfly-ic term. Ick. Anyway, that's besides the point. I think I want to change the template of my blog again. Yes, again. So far, it's been through 3 skins already (this being the 3rd one). And I shall admit it... it was driven by the metamorphosizing of Apester's blog (ang dali ko talaga ma-buyo).

I bought a Dreamweaver MX installer today (and a tutorial kit) and will attempt to build an uber customized template. I sure hope I get off work early. If all else fails, well... I dunno.

Okay... should I or should I not metamorphosize?

high. I discovered the joys of Alaxan FR. Despite the shoulder and arm pains collected from my Sunday badminton shindig, I was able to play again last night (I could hear gasps from the people who know me as the I'd-rather-go-shopping chick). Anyway, I took the drug around 30 minutes before the game. By the time we got to the court, I was as giddy as a hamster on a wheel. It didn't improve my game (larong kalsada parin) but the amazing thing was that I didn't tire at all! The sharp pangs of pain everytime I stretched my arm just seemed to fade away. A disclaimer though, they didn't totally fade away, they were there but they didn't really make their presence so much felt. I was literally on a high.

high. Chips and I will soon celebrate our 4th year anniversary. We'll just be having a good dinner, no exchange of gifts. We've been too stressed lately to go gift-hunting. A good thing, because I always cram. We'll also be going to Corregidor on Saturday. I can't wait. And I also can't believe that we've been together this long! Like, how can he stand me? Hehe. Well, with the risk of sounding mushy... it's the L-word. Now I couldn't imagine my life any way else.

low. I forgot to write down a poem that was brewing in my head. I underestimated my short term memory. I was watching Dateline one night and they were featuring this kid with down syndrome, who had extraordinary talent in writing poetry. As the doctor said, he is a gift to the world, like Mozart. I was stabbed with envy or more so disappointment. I haven't written anything substantial in months. And when I finally got a figment of a verse, I didn't write it down. It's torment I cannot put words to.

low. Two companies had called me in the past weeks, making me offers. I don't know what to do. Is this opportunity knocking? Am I making a pass at divine intervention? I hate dillemas like these. Here, I have this family, a security blanket. There, well, a gray area. Sure, the Clients we have need more brain-picking... but I love the people I work with here (minus the moodswings of our Creatives). I am so confuzzled. And I am so stubborn. The two traits don't really mesh well together.

I'll just wish that I were a cat.

I love being a Foz. For one thing, the name is unique. Everyone asks me why I call myself "Fozzy" and when I say that it's from my mom's maiden name, they're all amazed that such a name exists. Another thing is that "Foz" is actually a portuguese word. It translates to "mouth" - which probably explains the very loud voices we have. My tita can be heard from the Caltex station across the street and she's not even screaming (by her standards).

We're a bunch of artists and wannabe "artistas". Our moms get their hubbies drunk and let us kids dress them up in drag. Every year, we hold our reunion at Ilocos and have a programme for Lola and Lolo(+). When we 20-somethings were younger, we'd choreo a huge number. The boys would have a separate number in drag (full outfit with shoes and make-up). Weird, huh. We're so close that it feels like we're 16 brothers and sisters.

Here's a family photo of this year's celebration. To my cuzins in the states (Kuya TJ, Ate Daffo, Nica, Ida) and Karl who was stuck with soccer training, we really missed you. The programme was a whole lot shorter, but we managed to pull it off :)



And here are some other thumbs of interest:


pic 1: Mayee, Joanna, ate Kristine with Tala and Jericho
pic 2: Tita Polly and Mayee


pic 3: (clockwise from top) Naps, Marty, Mayee, Joanna, Pepong, Tita Donna
pic 4: (clockwise from left) ate Kristine, Mayee, Marty, Naps, Pepong, Joanna, Me


pic 5: the mommies do the Spaghetti dance
pic 6: (from left to right) Lowla, my mom & dad, Tito Danny, Tita Irene, ate Kristine, Tita Polly

Our cat in Ilocos, lounging one warm afternoon.
click on thumb for bigger view

Happy Silver Anniversary to my mom and dad.
Thanks for the love and patience. Thanks for all the laughter.

We love you sooooooooo much!!!


My dad serenading my mom via videoke machine.
Note that cognac and red wine was involved.
That's 25 years of unconditional love right there.

As said in the last post, we were digitally impaired in Bangkok. All the pictures were taken via a zoomless Advantix camera, which was very frustrating. Here's a low-resolution taste of what we saw, thanks to my K700i.






You can click on the pictures on the right for a bigger view. When we were in the Grand Palace (pictures on the left) I didn't realize that the picture setting was on "small", hence the size and low resolution. Darnit. Next on the agenda would be the Foz New Year pictures, taken with my new baby, the Casio Z-55.

Updated. I'm killing time here in the office. So I'm going to somewhat update this update:

December 24 (Christmas Eve): We went to mass early (7:30PM) and ate a whole lot. We had to spend time packing for our trip tomorrow. Bangkok here we come! We brought two luggages. One of the luggages had 2 smaller luggages inside. And the other one had a smaller one inside as well. Anyway, for noche buena we had spaghetti (as in happy-birthday-spaghetti), fiesta ham, buko gello, chicken mozarella, red wine and keso de bola. Liam, our shih-tzu was so cute too. We let him out to the lanai (usually he's just inside the house) and he was utterly amazed. He was probably wondering where he was and why the house got bigger. Hehe.

December 25: Flight to Bangkok. Yeaaaahhh!!! Land in BKK and go on a city tour (though deep inside I wanted to jump off the bus and hitch-hike to Chatuchak) and see a whole lot of gold and buddhas. Joanna accomplished dream #1: have a picture taken with a buddhist monk. We had a gay tour guide named Thom. He's so entertaining. The tour ate up most of our day so by the evening the stores were closed already. Our hotel was beside the Pratunam market, which was a good thing. We just strolled down the night street bazaar to get a whiff of what's in store.

December 26: Head to Chatuchak. Get lost, separated from our parents. My sister and I were together and we feared the risk of being orphans. Dad wasn't texting. We go along shopping, with the hope that we would eventually bump into them. Nuh-uh. The likelihood was slim to none. We eat pineapples for lunch and marvel at the abundance of cute Australians (and a whole lot of other nationalities). So from 11AM to around 4PM, we were walking in a labyrinth of shops. From section 27 we somehow end up in section 3. We trudged back into the jungle hoping that we could find where we came from. We finally get in contact with Daddy's phone and learn that they're all the way in section 26. Our knees were shaking from fatigue. But the shopping was utterly marvelous.

December 27: A tour to the old capital of Thailand, Ayutthaya. This time, our tour guide was a short, stout man who knew a little bit of tagalog. Very cute. On the way to the province, my mom purchases 5 kilos of Sampaloc. The tour guide is very amused. Here, Joanna gets dream #2: a picture with an elephant. We also get to photograph more monks. Since females can't touch them, they were just in the background (oblivious to the picture-taking). We went to the king's Summer Palace as well. Absolutely beautiful. I felt so digitally impaired. I take as much shots as I could (hope that they turn out well) with our Advantix camera that is naked of any zoom capability. We again visit the Pratunam streets for the night market.

December 28: Shopping at MBK and Pratunam. Get shoes and hunt for jeans. Clothes in Bangkok insult you. My sister and I actually get size 30 jeans and large skirts (hindi manlang medium!). I then get a digital camera - a Casio Z-55. I know, I said I was getting the Canon... but well, the cheaper price (by around 2.5K Php) and the big-ass LCD talked me into it.

December 29: Flight back to Manila. Our flight was at 1PM so we had to be in the airport by 11AM. Dang. No more time for shopping. Foreigners bound for Phuket were diverted to Bangkok. So yesterday, there was a great flood of cute guys. Damn. Just when we were leaving. We land in Manila at around 6:30PM. Chips and I have dinner at Recipe's in Greenbelt. I gave him the kilo of Sampaloc I brought for his family. I also hope that the jeans I got him fits, considering the difficulty we encountered with female garments.

December 30: Long drive to Dingras, Ilocos Norte. Our butts hurt. Long, long drive.

December 31: Go to Batac and eat the best empanada for mirienda. Firecrackers galore. Note that our house is adjacent to a gasoline station. A demented kwitis actually made a bee-line for the gas station and we feared for our lives. Good thing it poofed before it got too close. Watch Jericho, our german shepard, go crazy with all the cracking. Pretty, pretty fireworks. Later, they whipped out a long, long, long sawa. It was probably as long as the house and took a good two minutes before the last five-star popped. We also had this canon with "bombs" the size of coconuts. One didn't want to light up and we again feared for an unplanned bloody explosion. The boys finally got it out of the canon and it now still sits on the street. We later gulfed down lasagna and crema de fruita.

January 1: Lounge around. Rent a Videoke machine. Watch the grown-ups dance Spaghetti Pababa. I've got it on video. Bwahahaha. The videoke machine didn't rest until 1AM. It had yucky visuals of Maui Taylor, Katya Santos and Patricia Javier. My grandmother shakes her head at the sight. She is worried for the children. The boys and dads drink and enjoy the show (which is not of us singing).

January 2: Have lunch and leave Ilocos at around 2PM. Another long, long drive. We drive thru Mcdonald's for dinner. Upon arrival in Manila, we smelled like garlic (mom bought 4 kilos), bagnet and sukang iloko. Liam was jumping for joy at the sight of us.

So there's my holiday for you. Hectic, yes. But very much fun. Strangely I didn't even gain weight despite eating in Ilocos almost every 2 hours. Hehe. With occassions like these, nothing's like being with family. The last update will be of the pictures. Or maybe I'll just create a new post for those. Hmmm. Bahala na. Happy Holidays people (or what's left of it).