Saturday, July 24, 2004
love the job you're in

I think I’m feeling lucky.  I don’t really mind now that I can’t ever tell the definite time on which I can stop working and go home.  Nevermind the 12-hour telenovela-ish workday.  Why?  Well, this is where the pigs come in.

I’d first like to establish a disclaimer though:  that I am in no way intentionally offending anyone in the pig industry.  I am just so amazed by what has been told to me and I am compelled thus to write in the sincere, graphic and amazed fashion as was the state of my mind when I received the said information.  Again, no offense.  I love bacon.
Chips paid a visit to one of the bank’s clients last Friday.  It was a piggery.  In the course of the visit he learned that pig reproduction there is all done artificially.  The stud and the sow don’t even see each other.  Here’s the kicker.  There is a person specially designated to jack off the stud.  As in give the freakin’ pig a happy.  Shit… diba?  Are you feeling lucky now or what?  I really don’t mind that I’m trapped in a cube, at least not a sty.  You feel like shit, but at least you’re not wallowing in shit (while jacking off a pig). 

And as there is a guy for the guy pig, there is a person (a guy too, I think) for the girl pig.  They inseminate the sow using this really thin rod thing that towards the end, takes the shape of a screw (like a tiny spiral).  So in essence, you really are screwing the pig.  Sometimes, Chips was told, they have a second guy go on top of the pig (sumampa, kung baga).  We speculate that it’s to preserve the authenticity of the experience. 

So, another burning but hypothetical question:  if these two were the only possible ways in the world to earn a living (and it's an extremely high living), which would you take on – the guy pig or the girl pig?

At this hypothetical point, I’d rather be a victim of suicide.  Deadma na.  I love my job.  Don't you?

dezphaire strapped in @ 11:06 PM  


  • At 12:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    kasama ko kagabi isang cousin ko who has a pig farm. sabi ko "i know what goes on in your farm. ick." hehe


  • At 10:33 AM, Blogger dezphaire said…

    I was watching Travel Sick on Channel [v] last night. He failed his challenge and his punishment was to collect semen from a bull.

    It was gross enough hearing about the pigs. Now I had visuals... of a bull. Ganda.


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