Monday, March 10, 2008
the big M
I just finished putting a presentation for work. Yep, working on a Sunday. God will strike me with lightning... *waiting for the lightning*. Okay, so the striking thing didn't really happen. And because I was really staring at myself in disbelief for actually working on a Sunday over something I'm really not too psyched about, I decided to blog.
What to blog about. Here I am deciding to blog about something that's been haunting me for the recent years. Something that's getting harder and harder to put off, to ignore. Yah, it's the big M. Like that thing that your extended relatives, your close friends, your grandparents always bug you about. When are you getting married?
Goddammit. I really wish it was something you really didn't have to plan. Or prepare for. Or save a whole lot of money for, at least. Like you know, one of those things that just happened. Like one day, hey, I'm married. Or like some car crash... Oh, it happened so fast, I couldn't see, I couldn't make out anything... Haha. I'm making jokes about it. To tell you the truth, I'm almost terrified. Friends are going down the aisle left and right. I am... at least with the guy I see myself living my whole life with (that's a start).
Will I even be a good married person? I can't say for the life of me that I would be. I can't cook. We'll probably be living off preservatives, heated food and take-out. Oh and I am the most disorganized pack rat. I can be obsessive compulsive, but I'm characteristically a mess. Oh my Lord I can't even manage to keep my room clean, how in the world am i supposed to do a living room, a kitchen, a bathroom!?!?? I think I'd need one of those reality show crash course rehab things. I don't know. I really don't know. This is insane, right?
I don't know what else to say about it, actually. I would actually probably have fun planning it. It's just the stress of getting there, worrying about how it would be when we're actually there, saving up to actually get there. It's almost 1AM and I'm yammering and worrying.
I should try to go to sleep...
dezphaire strapped in @ 12:20 AM
Sometimes bored. Most of the time oddly alive. Phobic of butterflies. Creatively suppressed. Hungry for coffee and shoes. This is my subconscious talking... at times interrupted by my reality.
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