}
Saturday, July 29, 2006
ode to my beloved ones

killer
Originally uploaded by dezphaire.

I love you, you know.
Even if you cause me so much pain.
But you make me feel good.
You make me look good.
You make me feel
Like I'm on top of the world.
Like I can do anything.
Like b*tch was a good thing.

Here's to you.
No one else can have you.
No one else could handle you.
That's a good thing.
You're all mine.
Just mine.
You're just me.

dezphaire strapped in @ 1:52 AM   9 walked through

Friday, July 28, 2006
the ambigram tutorial part 1
This may be late in the game, since my ambigram post was like last month already. But I just wanted to share, just in case of you are motivated to try this with your own name. Especially if you're equipped with Photoshop. I'm going to try to walk you step by step through the process. Disclaimer though - the success of your ambigram will depend on your visualizing prowess of things upside-down. Good luck!

Step one. Type your name in a nice, gothic and somewhat elaborate font. I've used here Gothic Love Letters. Other choices include Beaverton Tthorm and Indoctrine. Make it as big as 60 or 72 so when you zoom into the details later on, it won't be as pixelized. You may also want to adjust the spaces of the letters by going into character options and selecting the bigger values (see image on right).


Step two. Rasterize your layer. Right click on the active text layer and click "Rasterize Layer". This will enable you to modify your text more freely. You may want to rename the layer according to the name you're typing. In this case, let's call it "Elaine".


Step three. Let's start with the first letter. With the "Elaine" layer selected, use your polygonal lasso tool. Make a series of clicks around the letter E, close the lasso, and right click. There should be a tab where you can select "Layer via Cut". Now there's a new layer just for the E. That's the first sub-step. Now you need to right click on this E layer and select "Duplicate Layer". To complete this second sub-step, rotate the layer until it's inverted. I've colored the inversion red for clearer reference. Do note that I'm overlaying another E because it's my last letter.


Step four. The next thing to do is to drag these two E's such that they are on top of each other. Now this is where your imagination will come in. Again, keep in mind that when inverted, this first letter should also serve as your last letter. Lucky for "Elaine", both are E's. Think of how it will look like inverted and make some trimmings here and there. If you make a mistake, there's always Ctr-Z. What I've done here is shortened the upper left tab and erased the thin line closing the top of the "e". The tapered swoosh on top would be enough to suggest the top of the "e" at the same time would serve as the curve at the bottom. You only need to fix the top part of the letter. Once happy, cut the letter in half by using the polygonal lasso tool again and selecting "Layer via Cut" when you right click. Duplicate this layer and invert it.


Now you can merge these two layers by moving them together and meeting on those two thin lines. Link the two layers by clicking on the little box beside the eye icon on your layers window and pressing Ctr+E. There it is, your double-sided E. Now you can erase the two E's on top of each other.


I'll stop here for now. This is getting pretty long. Part 2 is up and coming, don't worry!
dezphaire strapped in @ 10:04 PM   1 walked through

Thursday, July 27, 2006
photoshop therapy
Since the new shoes are still quite far from being achieved, I just passed my stress into the world of Photoshop. I got this cool tutorial on making your photo into a line-art comic type cartoon. Then with further fiddling and intense layering, I finally got the comic book cartoon look. I was sort of gunning for the pop-art approach, but the photo just refused to be rendered beautifully in that way. Maybe it would be better if I was blonde. Haha.

Anyway, there it is - the fruit of this endeavor. To your left, I proudly present my new profile picture.
dezphaire strapped in @ 5:59 PM   6 walked through

Wednesday, July 26, 2006
midway through the week of hell
The past two days weren't pretty. No one wanted to work. Some people didn't even come to work. Some people outrightly refused to do any more work. Now this was really a great thing to have when loads and loads of requirements are due within the day. We worked over the weekend. We're supposed to be granted days off for that. And yet we're working. And the typhoon just made it all worse.

For the past two days, the office declared that people without "sabits" (or urgent work due) can go home early. At 3:00, people were already packing up to go home. Our team couldn't. We had client meetings at 5PM and production meetings until 8PM. It really sucks that you know you're supposed to be home drinking a nice cup of coffee and reading some book BUT -- you're working.

For the past two days, the rain made driving unbearable. Traffic was everywhere. Some areas were flooded. It takes me more than an hour to get home. Same for driving to work. For those mornings I really questioned why I go through all the trouble just to go to work. It really didn't help that the car I was driving was a low-slung Civic.

At least the rain let up today. I don't know if that's a good thing. We're so goddamn tired and dampened. At some point I didn't care anymore. But I have to care. I don't really want to. But I have to. And the saga of this week of hell continues.

The only motivation I have is that there's a promise of nice red pumps at the end. Or a pair of funky boots.
dezphaire strapped in @ 9:21 AM   2 walked through

Monday, July 24, 2006
hell's in full swing

And it's only Monday.
Kill me, kill me now.
dezphaire strapped in @ 7:22 PM   4 walked through

Sunday, July 23, 2006
premonition
Next week will be HELL. Tomorrow I'll be working. Again. No weekend for now. The bosses will be gone the entire week for a conference in Thailand. But two projects will be running. It is critical that we unfortunate ones left behind successfully pull it off. Our asses on the line. Like right smack in the middle of the freakin' line. Pulling it off will probably be as difficult as crossing the Mexican border with TNT strapped into your clothing.

It's the perfect recipe for insanity. Any one of us could just snap. It never fails you know, that these conferences are scheduled smack dab on danger zones. We never get to rejoice when we're bossless. It's like our fates dictate that we're not allowed to have fun.

I predict that if I'm not insane and unemployed next weekend, I'll be in shopping therapy. Perhaps with the pair of red pumps. I hope I find them. For my own sake.
dezphaire strapped in @ 12:00 AM   6 walked through

Friday, July 21, 2006
the inner celebrity
I was having breakfast with some Creative people today. I learned that there's this site that can scan through an uploaded picture and match a celebrity to your face. So here I am, curious. You guys be the judge of this one:

On a separate note, I'm very much starting to like how this new stilleto scheme is working out. It reflects the murderous moods I've been having the past few days given all the stress. Escalated by the gloominess of the weather. This makes me want to buy b*tchy pumps (in addition to the ones I already have). Maybe I'll buy a red pair. That would be nice.

I'm just a bit frustrated that the alignment of the text vs. the background differs from Internet Explorer to Mozilla. Maybe I'll put the text into scrollable boxes. I don't know. I'll have to review HTML again. But here it is for now. My new bloody b*tch of a template.
dezphaire strapped in @ 11:28 AM   7 walked through

Thursday, July 20, 2006
work in progress
I'm adjusting the mood and tone of my template. As the shiny-happy-season of summer is over, I thought that this blog should have some design transition as well. I'm trading in my flip-flops for b*tchy closed pumps. There's still something wrong with the other links... especially the comment page. For some reason, the adjustments don't carry over.

Anyway, tell me what you think. I'll make the tweaks along the way.
dezphaire strapped in @ 8:28 PM   8 walked through

canon in d
This is my favorite piece to play on the piano. That is, when I still played the piano. I've kind of shed that skin when I went into college. Yes, I was a classically trained pianist. I started studying when I was in second grade. It's not an inborn ability, I think. It's more of an acquired skill. Maybe because I had long, slender fingers. I guess it stopped there. I can't compose. I can't listen to a song and instantly know how to play it. There needs to be a sheet I could read through, and now, really really slowly read through.

At one point, I could play this piece with my eyes closed. I loved doing that when I was sad or stressed. I actually miss doing that. Now the piano is rotting away in our living room. I don't even have the music memorized anymore.

I listen to this on Eliot. Sort of a way to relive my love for this composition. And it saddens me that I seem to have wasted years and years of studying this instrument. I distinctly recall what my teacher said when I told her that I was quitting - "do you know how many piano players would kill to have your hands?"

Makes me think about it. And wonder again.

What am I really doing?
dezphaire strapped in @ 9:46 AM   5 walked through

Monday, July 17, 2006
monday musings
Sometimes I wonder why in the world I go through battling with the buses and taxi cabs, driving through almost an hour of bumper-to-bumper traffic, just to get to the office and induce more suffering on myself. And at the end of a long day, I pay 150 bucks for parking and go through the same winding road of traffic to get home.

I really, really wonder.
dezphaire strapped in @ 8:43 AM   11 walked through

shopping again
"Why do you always have to buy
something every weekend?" - Chips

Yes, I was at it again over the weekend. That ever sinful four-letter word got the better of me. Last weekend, I bought a pair of sandals from CMG. They were beautiful flats with rope-style thong straps. Very comfortable. Chips actually attested to their sexiness when I wore them yesterday. This weekend, I bought a pair of brown high-heels from People are People. Kinda platform-ish but their heels were stilletos. My sister doesn't like it. Chips seemed to like it. Although maybe he was distracted by the miniskirt I was wearing. I thought they were nice and were suprisingly comfortable. So there was the card being swiped.

Aside from the shoes, I did buy a pair of linen white trousers from Mango. I think I needed to celebrate that the size 4 fit me right. Was I losing weight by doing nothing? Maybe. The stress may have been eating me inside out. Well, I don't really mind. The Kids of Bayo store was 50% off too. On everything. I bought a shirt. It says "Delicious Corndog". Haha.

Will anything cure me of this disease? I don't know. I know I need to save up. You know, because there are bigger things to think about. I'm keeping myself from upgrading to an iPod Vidoe. Does that help?
dezphaire strapped in @ 12:15 AM   7 walked through

Tuesday, July 11, 2006
little girl goal
When I was a kid, I loved the sound of the typewriter. I'd watch my mom and dad click away. And then after each line, there'd be that almost magical ching! like it was a prize for typing nice and fast or something. It amazed me how their fingers could clatter about the keys, mindlessly, but making sense. I was a little girl hypnotized by it all. I wanted to make that same fast clicking sound. I wanted to be like my dad.

I did my first short story on the typewriter. I couldn't type as fast as my dad and I had to use loads of them correction tapes. So when I got to high school, I was ecstatic that we had typing class. Shallow, I know. But it was a childhood thing. I had to accomplish it. I felt that my piano lessons worked to my advantage. Hehe. Fast forward through college and into the corporate world, I type fairly fast and pretty accurately now. It helps when you're a prolific notetaker. At least I've got one of my life goals down, no matter how miniscule it is.

And just to make me feel better about this, I took an online typing test. According to this site, I type an average of 78 words per minute, with an accuracy rate of 97%. Care to try it too?
dezphaire strapped in @ 9:41 AM   12 walked through

Monday, July 10, 2006
weather be me
I saw the clouds rolling away today.
Slowly
Like a blanket of grey silk
being pulled back
unraveling, revealing
pure white skies
like freshly pressed sheets.
And still it is here.

Rain.
dezphaire strapped in @ 5:10 PM   3 walked through

Tuesday, July 04, 2006
tattoo dream.
I shall borrow an idea from Neko about documenting dreams. Just because this totally bemused me. I woke up today rather tired and dreary. I usually get charged enough to get out of bed by the fourth snooze alarm. But this morning, I was extremely groggy. And slowly, the memory of the dream crept in.

It was a dark room, lit with a hint of blue. Light was streaming from a panel of windows. There was this day-bed kind of sofa or was it one of those long lounge things. Anyway, Chips was asleep on it. Then I turn my head and see this woman drawing a stencil on my leg. I think it was on my thigh (towards my knee). She was drawing on it with a red Crayola marker. The design was kind of intricate, with swirls and lines and all. She was almost done and I thought, wait a minute - if I get the tattoo here, it's going to be horridly disturbing if I'm in shorts. Gasp! What more if I was in a bikini?!?? This cannot be! So I get up and find the apparent "head" of this tattoo studio. I wonder why the opening scene was dark when now it's nice and sunny. Anyway, I decide to have the tattoo behind my neck, almost between the shoulderblades. It was a round celtic design, similar to the Charmed logo.

And then I wake. And it was weird. I touched the back of my neck. Ok. It was just a dream.
dezphaire strapped in @ 10:30 AM   7 walked through

Saturday, July 01, 2006
one down
I've got one project officially ending tomorrow. Man, it feels so good to get that over with. I had to go to work today to make sure everything related to it is closed and delivered. To celebrate this, Chips and I went to SM Department store and splurged some gift certificates I had left over from Christmas. I bought two sleeveless tops on sale. And two "gym" tops. I just hope I finally get to go to the gym this coming week. Riiiiiight. Here I go again. I never really get to follow through with anything I resolve to do. This industry is really not made for extra curricular activities.

I'm going to be walking Cooper today. Finally, he gets to frolick beyond our garage. It's been raining for the past few days. Poor baby, he's really itching to go outside. Good for him, he's actually excited for exercise.

So that's all the update I have for now. I really don't want to rant or write too much about work right now. Hehe. Too confidential. Enjoy what's left of the weekend people!
dezphaire strapped in @ 6:04 PM   5 walked through

My Photo
Name:
Location: Philippines

Sometimes bored. Most of the time oddly alive. Phobic of butterflies. Creatively suppressed. Hungry for coffee and shoes. This is my subconscious talking... at times interrupted by my reality.

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reklamadorang ako
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soundtrack of the moment
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea. Swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis. But it's just the price to pay, Destiny is calling me. Open up my eager eyes 'cause I'm Mr. Brightside -- "Mr. Brightside" The Killers
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